Faux Noise reports:
WASHINGTON — An accused enemy combatant held at Guantanamo Bay told a military hearing he was physically as well as mentally tortured there by having to read a newsletter full of ‘crap,’ being forced to use unscented deodorant and shampoo and having to play sports with a ball that would not bounce.
Majid Khan of Pakistan denied any connection to Al Qaeda and said he was tortured and his family hounded by U.S. authorities, according to a redacted transcript released Tuesday by the Pentagon.
In statements to reporters, Khan also reported being forced to use cheap toilet paper, wear eyeglasses that were the wrong prescription and having his beard shaved off twice. The beard shaving is considered “humiliating” to Muslims, as Islam commands adherents to commit murder, genocide, rape, stoning of rape victims, decapitation of non-believers, the death penalty for apostates, wife-beating, and not shaving your beard. So, understandably, this is a problem for Islamic terrorist, Majid Khan.
Khan denied he is a member of al-Qaida and rejected allegations that he plotted attacks in the U.S. and Pakistan with one of the group’s most dangerous operatives, 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He also boasted of beachfront property he was looking to sell in Arizona.
Among other complaints of his brutal mistreatment, Khan complained that he only had the old Playstation 2 console available for gaming. The console was also hooked up to a “Tiny, difficult to see, 60 inch plasma display.”
“It made me want to burn down my cell. It made me so angry,” Khan said. “They didn’t even have a good selection of games to play on their inferior console.”
Humor-Blogs.com also denies a connection to al-Qaida
1:30 AM: I’m looking around and I don’t see anyone on this story yet. FIRST! (Just remember that) Scratch that. Jihad Watch.
*Sigh* It appears His Majesty is too busy to run this one through the Imperial shredder, as I had hoped.
2004–2008
6 responses so far ↓
1
fmragtops
// May 16, 2007 at 6:49 am
Fuck Jihad Watch. By order of me, you are the FIRST to report this story. The title of FIRST shall not be removed by anyone under penalty of they die. Way to scoop the big boys!
2
FIAR
// May 16, 2007 at 10:22 am
That’s right. Bow before my greatness.
3
Skul
// May 16, 2007 at 11:44 am
“use unscented deodorant and shampoo”
I doubt he’s aware of their existence.
“a ball that would not bounce.”
That’s a Hacky Sack you seventh century cretin.
4
Wonder Woman
// May 16, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Poor baby…spent so much time bouncing his balls off the rump of a goat, he simply does not know what to do with them now.
I weep…weep, I tell you!
5
RT - Chief Mongress
// May 16, 2007 at 7:14 pm
The horror! Freak!
6
TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog
// May 21, 2007 at 5:42 pm
He was just upset when his dick got caught in the little slidy tray for the game disk.
Amazing that it almost fit in the crack.
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