A Christmas Story

A Child is Born

Yea verily I say onto thee, to continue to write in this voice is ridiculous. So I shall produce verbiage in the lingua franca, the vulgar tongue of the unwashed masses, even down to the level of you redneck, teabagging conservatives.

For lo and behold… er, I mean, sheeettt… it be like this, dawg. No, that’s not working either. Okay, how ’bout this instead:

Once upon a time, in a land surrounded by warm seas that flowed with pineapple juice and bong water, a baby boy was born. But even this is in dispute, for some say the babe was brought into this world in a dark forbidding land, surrounded by vicious animals, and even worse insects and diseases. A few allege this child was designed in a lab, hidden in the Brazilian jungles.

Some say a guiding star in the sky heralded the event. Others claim blood on the moon.

Either way, he was black. Or maybe he was white. What is clear is that his unholy father was black, and his white mother was no virgin. Whether, black or white, it is said that when they changed his first poopy swaddling clothes, they found a whole deck of Race Cards, which his parents set about the hall, in celebration. While all of the facts surrounding this event may never be fully known, the kid did arrive. This is not in dispute.

The Child is Reared

He grew-up with his, now single, mother and her male friends reading to him from books. He was very fond of the works of Engles, Marx, Alinsky and Mao. Many believe that by the tender age of six, he had read –in the original German- Mein Kampf, and had memorized The Communist Manifesto.

The young boy was sent to the finest schools his white, racist grandmother’s money could buy. Upon completion of his education, he tried his hand at local politics. A natural born speaker, his words were a blessing to many downtrodden. It was time for him to ascend to his destined and lofty level.

The Man Rears Others

As with so many placed upon a soft pedestal of the Presidency, the seas of public opinion battered his sandstone monolith. Swells of anger raged at his base, undercutting its foundation. Yet this Savior of the Worker, this Messiah to the Masses continued his single-minded drive toward Fascism.

Soon, the pedestal was washed away completely, revealing the Cross, on which he still hangs. Unfairly burdened with the iniquities and transgressions of past administrations, he refuses to come down from his cross, in the face of overwhelming opposition to his plan to fundamentally change the land.

This Obamass, let us remember the sacrifices this man has unselfishly asked us to make, for the betterment of his career and the Democrat Party, for which he stands. Let us sing his praises.

Blessed be he above all men.

Les James is also available at Conservative Political Humor and Satire by Sideshow Mirrors

Category: Political Humor Tags: A Child is Born, Birth Of the Messiah, Christmas Parody, Humour, Merry Christmas, Merry Obamass, Obama Change Satire, Obama Messiah, Political Humor