Then There Were Two
This is just great. It’s now down to Frick and Frack. Come on. Couldn’t we have done better? I mean really. Obama and McCain? This is the best we could come up with? I don’t know who I’m more Fricken pissed at. Neither is worth a Frack.
To any of you who are aficionados of the Swiss ice-skating duo, I apologise.
But speaking of Fricken, if tofu that’s shaped into a turkey is Tofurky, what would you call tofu chicken. Toicken doesn’t work, but Fricken does.
Can’t you just see yourself ordering this tasty meal at a fast food drive up window?
Giant plastic chicken head: Welcome to KFF. May I take your order please?
You in your car: Yeah, I’d like some Fricken Nuggets, large Fricken Fries and a medium Coke.
Giant plastic chicken head: Would you like BBQ or our special Fricken Sauce with that?
You in your car: Aah, just gimme the Fricken Sauce.
Giant plastic chicken head: Please pull up to the window and have a nice Fricken day.
Frack me, phony chicken and even phonier candidates. Just Fricken wonderful.
Right about now you might be wondering where the usual hard hitting, substantive, fact filled commentary is in this piece. Well, I’ll tell ya. I’ve taken a page from both Obama and McCain and today you get from me, what they have been giving to us all. Nada, zip, zilch in the way of substantial information as to how they will govern.
I threw in the terrible joke above as filler. Nothing there, just a way to take up space and waste time. A distraction to keep you from realizing that I’ve got little here, other than empty verbage and a cheap bag of stale, hot air driven catch phrases. Kind of like the drivel I keep hearing every time those two open their mouths.
Really, how can I tell you about their platforms, when they won’t tell me? These two jokers dodge and spin so much that it makes me dizzy just looking at ‘em. And listening to either makes me feel like I’ve tuned in to Mexican talk radio. I understand a lot of the words, but it just ain’t making no sense.
Other than the fact the one is irritating and the other is nauseating, I can’t tell ‘em apart. Just two peas in an Invasion of the Body Snatchers pod. Where are they hiding the real candidates?
What am I going to do in November? Who am I going to vote for? No one on the ballot, that’s for sure. The best I can do is vote against the other guy. I suppose I should be use to it by now. I haven’t actually voted for a president since Reagan. It’s been a fast slide down hill since then.
So there it is. Not much of a post and not much an election. I suppose I shouldn’t let it get me so Fricken upset. And one more thing, if they think that after having their way with me for all these months, that I’m still going to respect them in the morning, well, they can just Frack off.
Humor-Blogs.com has better voting choices than election 2008 does.
Category: Political Humor Tags: 2008 Election, McCain, McCain Humor, Obama, Obama Humor, Political Humor
2004–2012
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That about sums up my feelings about the election. We have a shiny new turd, or a crusty decomposing one. Sure, Ron Paul is still running, but that just throws and escaped mental patient into the mix, so it’s not really an improvement.
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Off topic. Happy Friday the thirteenth. Remember to avoid graveyards and maternity wards. If you can’t stay away from those areas, be on the lookout for Hillary Clinton. That’s where she lurks for feeding time.
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Fricken awesome!
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Will there be a ‘Giant Plastic Chicken Head’ on the November ballot? There may be hope yet.
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Fricken-A right. But pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
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“Will there be a ‘Giant Plastic Chicken Head’ on the November ballot? There may be hope yet.”
No but to vote in English you will need to press one.
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By the way, Paul officially dropped out Thursday.
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I’ve decided to go Bob Barr this time around.
And nobody had better say I’m wasting my vote, because a vote for either of the Siamese twins is a wasted vote as far as I can see.
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>>>I haven’t actually voted for a president since Regan.
I don’t think Mr. Sleept-Thru-It spelled his name that way and I’m sure Nancy-In-Charge didn’t.
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You’re getting soft David. The best you can do is find a spelling error? Oh, it’s correctly spelled “Slept-Through-It”. But it would be petty of me to point that out.
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Guilty as charged.
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I think it’s a brilliant strategy.
*Gorby droning on… Pauses*
“Am I boring you Mr. President?”
“Huh? What? Did you wake me up to tell me you’re tearing down the Berlin Wall?”
“Uh, no.”
“Well then stuff a sock in it Commie. Tear down the wall and I’ll think about keeping an attention span.”
*Resumes napping*
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*Re-awakes. Looks over at Gorby*
And while you’re at it, wipe the s#it off of your head.
*Resumes napping*
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“And nobody had better say I’m wasting my vote, because a vote for either of the Siamese twins is a wasted vote as far as I can see.”
Hear hear! I’m going for either Nader or Barr as a protest vote. If I have to pick a clown I want one from the third ring of the circus this time.
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Well, you know I’m Constitutionally eligible for President.
I was in the loony bin once, but they let me out, so I’m certified safe for society.
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I just re-read that hippies for fuel post. I think it’s one of my favorite ones written by me.
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Close but no cigar. “Fricken” doesn’t really make a good conflation of “Tofu Chicken”. And if you really want to have it apply to the current choice of “clowns for presicent” as offered by the two wings of the “Sink America First Uniparty” you’d have to go with “Tofucken” as in, “Tofucken the U.S., vote for either Juan Mexicain or Barry Hussein Pbama-Winfrey (America’s first Arab-African presidential candidate).”
So, feel free to go to the polls in November and say, “I’ll have some tofucken nuggets with that ballot.”
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Tofucken. I like that.
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