The yummy frozen snack that is the Klondike bar is so good people are tempted to do anything to get one, even to go as far as men having their privates waxed.
Radioactive Liberty asks some politicians and celebrities what they would do…
Dick Cheney: “I would tell the truth about the CIA’s secret missions during the War on Terror-it was Bush’s fault.”
Barack Obama: “I would call my wife a wookie.”
Joe Biden: “I would say something really stupid…wait did I just say that out loud?”
President Ahmadinejad of Iran: “I would not kill a Jew.”
Verne Troyer: “I would head butt Lou Ferrigno in the groin.”
Ted Kennedy: “……………….”
Sarah Palin: “I would read a newspaper.”
Barney Frank: “I would sleep with Ann Coutler or even a woman.”
Van Jones: “I would renounce what I said about communism…hold on this isn’t the What would I do to keep my Green Jobs Czar position question?”
Nancy Pelosi: “I would sell my soul…wait I already did that.”
John McCain: “I would give up my 10% senior discount at Applebee’s.”
Ann Coulter: “I would make out with Hillary Clinton.”
Data from Star Trek: “I would compute the various permutations and calculate the myriad of responses I could give then feed that into a complex algorithm–”
We will umm get back to you on that one Data.
Do you have any politicians or celebrities in mind that were not mentioned that would do anything for a Klondike bar? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
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Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/beat reporter here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his stuff at his humor blog Angry Seafood as well as his serious political site Clearly Political.
2004–2010
3 responses so far ↓
1
Les James
// Sep 9, 2009 at 8:27 pm
I know what I’d do. I’d just bitch slap most of those wimps, and take theirs -Ann and Vern are not on that list.
2
Chris C
// Sep 9, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I wouldn’t mess with Ann either. She’s looking pretty buff these days.
On a side note I couldn’t find any funny pictures of Van Jones which is why he doesn’t have one in the post.
3
FreakSmack
// Sep 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Keith Olbermann said he’d count up the 10 most ridiculous things he’s said on his show, and apologize to everyone who liked him on sportscenter for being a duche.
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