Work From Home Businesses – What Would Obama Do?
The economy is bad. President Obama says that the financial crisis will only get worse. And worse. And even worse still. One concerned reader has written to Obama for advice on how to navigate this recession.
Dear most benevolent one,
I have recently lost my job, and I have been unable to find new employment for several months now. I have looked everywhere, but in my area there really just aren’t any jobs to be had. I am struggling to make ends meet, and soon I will run out of money that I had socked away for a rainy day. I really need some advice on how I can back on my feet. I eagerly await your reply, My Liege.
~ Jobless in Jacksonville
I would try to be more resourceful. There’s a whole Internet out there that Al Gore invented, and it’s rich with home business opportunities. I would look into some of these options to begin generating some income.
For example, did you know that you can get paid to fill out surveys? I find that almost as intriguing as I find the dimensions of this bucket, which may or may not be big enough to fit on my head. My favorite surveys are the ones that ask questions like:
How would you rate President Obama’s job performance? Good, Great, Awesome, or Rock on Dude!
Another perfectly legitimate work from home jobs option is to work from home stuffing envelopes. You could send out new posters with me on them. Sadly, there are many Americans that only have posters of me from before I was elected President. You can help by being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
You could also try blogging for dollars. There are many people writing these weblogs, or blogs, these days, and I have found that they can be a great way to make money doing nothing. You could make a blog about how awesome I am.
If you can develop a rabid and devoted following that hangs on to your every word as if it were gospel, you can sell almost anything. You could even tell them that your shit doesn’t stink and they will believe it. And if your shit does stink, we’re running a limited time offer on my new Obama Colon Cleanse. Satisfaction is guaranteed. If my colon cleanse doesn’t clean you out, my tax increases will.
See how easy it was to throw a little sales pitch there in the middle? I know many people worry about looking like shady, slimy, corrupt marketers by asking people to buy something. One of my best friends is a domestic terrorist, and I got elected President of the United States of America, so clearly there is no need to be concerned about your credibility. It wouldn’t be at all difficult to sell a few Obama Victory Plates, Obama tshirts, Obama Chia heads, Obama bobble head dolls, or Obama coin collections.
It’s easy to make money without contributing anything at all of value, and if you don’t believe me, just look at my own career for proof. However, you may have a little difficulty with this business strategy if you are not a vacant, empty suit with bubble gum pop star appeal.
Disclaimer: Don’t take home business advice from a political humor site, and don’t take blogging advice from a guy who can’t stop getting his head stuck in a bucket. Obama Colon Cleanse may or may not be a real product, but if it is real it’s a sure sign of the Apocalypse.
Obama Bucket Head Image courtesy of Sideshow Mirrors Satire. Origin of Obama Bucket Joke by Frank J of IMAO right wing humor.
If you have a question for What Would Obama Do, please leave it in the comments.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Humour, Political Humor, What Would Obama Do, Work From Home Businesses
2004–2012
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I understand that under the table, stay-at-home male, ah… surrogate father services are on the rise. I would think on top of the table would be better. But still, it’s a great way to make some extra cash and still be around for the kids.
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Oh and best of all, you don’t have to pay taxes on that type of income. Since you’ll most likely never be asked to join Obama’s cabinet, no one will ever find out.
Just make sure it’s all cash up front, raise your fees every year and never worry about performance. It’s the American government way.
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I got to say, that is extremely funny
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I was thinking just tonight how it would be nice to have a house-husband. A man’s place is in the home…taking care of me. heh.
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“It’s easy to make money without contributing anything at all of value…”
Damnit I’m not contributing any value either and I’m NOT getting paid. Something is clearly wrong here.
I blame Rush.
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Hey – I’m totally pissed that he is advising people to cut in on my home envelope stuffing business. I’m making a killing and I don’t want to share my gold mine with the likes of the recently unemployed Dubya.
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It was the licking of the envelopes that drew you to that line of work in the first place, wasn’t it.
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Hi Fiar
I just blew in from Griz’s blog expecting to find a make money blog and what do I find political humor! What is the world coming to? But as I am here and as Savior Obama appears to like appointing people who don’t pay their taxes I thought I would make this gratuitous plug for my own political humor blog – GeithnerGate.com – well there ain’t much humor on it but I am running a poll on whether Tim Geithner should be US Treasury Secretary if you can persuade millions of people to vote, that would be cool and maybe Mr Geithner would resign ! Ha ha.
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LOL, Thanks for the links man. I’m with you all the way.
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The Obama colon cleanse…Oh my goodness…I thought the things I found on ebay (the obama snowman, the obama thong, the obama comic book) were bad enough…
Very funny stuff
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Darren is a powerhouse marketer. He has helped countless people from around the world make CASH, and lots of it… FAST! Darren developed an Infinite Income Plan that allows people to earn Instant Big Ticket commissions. Check out his FREE Report for details. The next step is up to you. Let me quietly suggest to you, you take it now.
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[...] of these jobs are 100% scam free legitimate work from home jobs. Do keep in mind that back in Chicago, the definition of “scam free” is applied a [...]
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I must say hats off to the theme. Absolutely amazing. Just enjoyed reading it. Paid surveys, Stubbing envelopes and blogging are some opportunities that are available to people to make money online. These are hard times and it is very difficult to drive a point.
You have manged to drive the point of work from home opportunities with extremely funny imaginative article. It is real good read.
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[...] there is some sort of Obama government jobs program where you can work at home scraping conservative satire blogs, but just how much recession humor is too much? Speaking of tea parties, did you know that the [...]
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I don’t like Obama and I’m pretty sure in 3 years everyone will agree with me except the poor people who just want free selfish programs for themselves!
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I think he is doing a great job especially compared to the previous who I even hate to mention!
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Of course you do, damned ambulance chasing vulture.
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“I think he is doing a great job especially compared to the previous who I even hate to mention!”
~Spambot comment that will be deleted probably by the time you read this.
I didn’t think spambots were so opinionated.
On a side note I wonder if people who actually think Obama is doing such a great job are rubbing one out while talking about how awesome he is. It’s a short road from a tingle in the leg to acting on it.
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You guys DONT think Obama is doing a good job compared to the a** Mr.Bush????
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what is wrong with Obama?
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Nothing. He’s perfect Fascist Dictator material. Wouldn’t change a thing.
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“what is wrong with Obama?”
He has a midget porn fetish.
I figure since I am responding to a spambot I might as well make a ridiculous claim.
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Well, I suppose that fits. Tiny T & A for a tiny…
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He is better then Bush that is for sure!
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I believe in his healthcare plan. It works everywhere else. The U.S. still has a 3rd world country way with healthcare!
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Hehe the spambots argue just like actual human liberals. Hmmm…
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Well it true Chris. I was just saying to my witchdoctor…
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I guess spambots are more intelligent then you…
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Putz
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“I guess spambots are more intelligent then you…”
You confuse intelligence with pervasiveness.
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[...] 7. President Obama offers some sage advice about work from home business job opportunities. [...]
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All of these methods are good methods to make money online if you know what youre doing, if you have money to invest, if you have time to spare and to wait for income some time down the road, if you have a list.
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Lol….it was too funny…
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Election Year Medicaid Medicare Inducement issues left open for November not openly discussed.
Judicial dilemmas, since all are offically allowed to bear arms again the big city Mayors are concerned about how the poor will be able to rearm themselves and are looking for some type of financial relief from Federal State Medicaid programs to maintain status quo.The higher courts face tough issues this term since making honest fraud legal, there agenda now turns toward making honest kickbacks and honest bribes equally as legal. This topic remains high as a shared issue by the medicaid medicare enrollment providers since they are looking to expand inducements past the complicated pregnancy stage.The DOJ has serious concerns that if legalized marijuana in California for medical reasons could be used as a inducement or inticement to help secure new enrollments for the Federal State Medicare Medicaid programs.The State of California is concerned that if the Feds step up their effort in killing off the marijuana crops it could cause higher tax problems that effect Medicaid currently under consideration by the State marijuana tax control board. Limo drivers cancel their planned DC rally and leave for California to protect this years crop. Wow, don’t think I would like to be in Politics for this years elections.
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great post on home businesses. really informative
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